Bandit’s Corner – Dog’s pet peeves about humans

I found this list at my favorite website ratterriers.com . Maybe give some of our human counterparts a better insight on some of the things they do that annoy us.

Dog’s pet peeves about humans

1. When you run away in the middle of a perfectly good leg humping.

2. Blaming your farts on me…not funny…not funny at all.

3. Yelling at me for barking…I’M A FRIGGIN’ DOG YOU @%$# IDIOT!!!

4. How you naively believe that the stupid cat isn’t all over everything while you’re gone. (Have you noticed that your toothbrush tastes a little like cat butt??)

5. Taking me for a walk, then not letting me check stuff out. Exactly whose walk is this anyways?

6. Any trick that involves balancing food on my nose…stop it!!

7. Yelling at me for rubbing my butt on your carpet. Why’d you buy carpet?

8. Getting upset when I sniff the crotches of your guests. Sorry but I haven’t quite mastered that handshake thing yet..idiot.

9. How you act disgusted when I lick myself. Look, we both know the truth, you’re jealous.

10. Dog sweaters. Have you noticed the fur? Imbecile.

11. Any hair cut that involves bows or ribbons. Now you know why we chew your stuff when you are not home.

12. When you pick up the crap piles in the yard. Do you realize how far behind schedule that puts me?

13. Taking me to the vet for the “big snip”, then acting surprised when I freak out every time we go back.

14. The sleight of hand, fake fetch throw. You fooled a dog. What a proud moment for the top of the food chain, you nitwit.

15. Invisible fences. Why do you insist on screwing with us? To my knowledge, dogs have not yet solved the visible fence problem.

Bandit’s Corner

Why Dogs Chase Mail People Paper Boys and Girls
These mail people keep putting square pieces of paper in the box outside of the house. Some of this paper upsets my owner (not sure what ” another doggone bill” is?) and some my owner likes (not sure what a rebate check is either). In any event it’s part of my responsibilities to take care of my owner and his property and since these mail people can’t sort good paper from bad I’m determined to stop this practice altogether. So before they even get to the porch I cut them off at the pass and chase them over to the neighbor’s house, put the doggone bill in their box whatever that is. My owner seems happy he hasn’t gotten any paper at all in the last three weeks, but I don’t understand what happened to the lights and water, since I’ve chased the mailman away they don’t work.
Now about this paper boy
He comes by here every morning before anyone is up, and before I realize what’s happening, he throws a rolled up piece thrash at the porch, then hightails it down the street, usually on a bike or in a car. At least the mailman has the guts to attempt to come on the porch. Funny thing though, when I bring this piece of rolled up thrash to my owner, he unrolls it and stares at it while he eats breakfast. And he gives me a treat for bringing it to him. I think maybe he’s misguided, doesn’t he know that it’s more fun to chew it than to look at it? And I’m sure he doesn’t know these people are trying to break his windows out throwing this thing at the porch like they do. One of these mornings however, I’m going to be waiting outside for these paper people and deal with them before they break a window.

When Enough is Enough

In the current world of political correctness, and law suits, and cops and prosecutors meddling in where they shouldn’t, and the ACLU ready to jump in, there are a group of ungrudging individuals running around unbridled. The system won’t let parents effectively raise their children, then the same system can’t rehabilitate the grown up misfits this ideology has produced. The same system will repeatedly unleash repeated offenders back into mainstream society to……..repeat again. The good constantly take and take unsolicited attacks because the bad keep getting off the hook. The lunch money bully has evolved as the modern day adolescent toting assault rifles terrorizing malls, workplaces, and of all places, home and church. This sort of outcome is bred and fostered I believe by a failure to address and stop it in it’s infancy. If one knows up front the plane won’t fly, they won’t get on it.

Consider a recent school incident my 8 year old daughter innocently became a victim of. It seems there was a clique of 4 th graders that felt she wasn’t worthy enough to play with their self appointed set. My unassuming easy going little girl insisted upon trying to make some friends with this bujoir set. Well the first time she attempted, she was greeted by a ball thrown in her face. My little one responded by retreating to the outer parameters of the midget baby gang to nurse her wounded face. (Mommy and daddy and the political correct book says “no violence”) Also her friends say snitching isn’t cool (she never told the teacher because that would have thwarted her chances even further of joining the clique). But she did tell mommy and daddy. Now mommy is about 5 feet 7 or 8 inches and weighs in at about a buck fifteen, and has a lioness mentality when it comes to protecting her young. (I’ve seen unassuming kids get the message real quick when the disrespectful pressed an issue with this lady). Scared the hell out of me to watch! Hey sweetie! You can’t grab 9 year olds by their collar…….ah hell.

It appeared her little friends didn’t get the message the first time because three days later one of the little boys hit her in the face with a ball again. This time she did tell the teacher and I think the teacher followed up. I do know mom this time was recruiting the rest of the lionesses and warming up in the bullpen to square off with these people’s parents, and I have to admit, dad was letting mom off the chain and backing her play this time because enough’s enough. We also had another discussion with our prized cub, and reviewed some defense and survival skills necessary when you are away from the den. I think the conversation mom had with the teacher must’ve woke everyone up because the problem to this point appears to have cleared up. But my point is, suppose it didn’t, is my little girl supposed to remain a punching bag the duration of the school year, or wake up the sleeping bullies by knocking the snot out of one of them? I vote the latter. It only takes one stand to establish where you stand, and if the position is firm and rooted, few will challenge.

Now before the ACLU members and you timeout types chime in, hold on a minute and consider this. Back in the day when kids settled disputes with playground fistfights, and bar fights were just that, bar fights, there were no escalating murder rates in our cities. People (especially little ones) learned respect real fast, because it wasn’t against the law to get your butt whipped at home or in the street if you were so inclined to do so. If you fought and lost, hats off to the winner and they earned their respect. Everyone lived to see another day. And in the grown up world, every one had access to weapons (no gun bans that only law abiding citizens obeyed) so it was less likely someone would come back with a weapon because there was no guarantee they were not going to be confronted with more of the same. See today, violence and disrespect has run amok because even at an early age the bad guys know on the average there won’t be any retaliation. No price to pay. You see them all the time………. the prominent fore-headed jerk in his red corvette who cuts you off and then gives you the finger, the playground bully that pushes little girls down and throws sand in their hair, the spouse that physically and verbally abuses, the coworker that thinks nothing of forcing arrogance without regard. What’s the reward (that’s what it is) for a murder rap? Three hots and cot, education, free cable, weight training, no job, and if you’re really good at playing your cards a free out.

What has happened is we’ve evolved into a culture of unfounded tolerance, debilitating and obscure rationalizations.
I actually heard a guest on a radio talk show state lead paint being a possible reason for the escalating murder rate in Baltimore MD. I haven’t seen any paint buckets with running around with guns. Then there is that age old, one parent in the household BS. I’ve seen people without any parents in the household figure out right from wrong and grow up to be respectful contributing adults to society. The so called experts and PHDs keep feeding us these contradictory impudent assessments – “he’s that way because his father called him stupid when he was two”
“The mother figure worked all the time so that’s why her child is aggressive to the point of violence.” “He played with his sister’s dolls, that why he’s a rapist”. Then there is ADD, While a perfectly reputable reason for some children’s inability to focus and retain as well as explain abnormal behavior problems in some, I am convinced this is one the experts use when all else fails, and I’m sorry, it’s not all ways the case.

Here is a quote from an article written by Chris Jones in Esquire Magazine “I would submit, Your Honor, that if someone is doing something demonstrably asinine, and I ask them to stop it, please, and they say, “Make us,” they’ve entered a binding oral contract whereby I am permitted, even obligated, to try to make them.”

Now I’m by no means advocating a violent or barbaric society, or even teaching violent responses when common sense and maturity can prevail. Most humans handle controversy and the run of the mill idiot just fine without physical or mental confrontation. However there are those that when intent on invading us physically have to be taught………..”I’m not the one” and “Today is not the Day”.

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Colleges Offering Free Online Courses

For those of you looking to enhance and improve your skill sets, beef up your career training to better align yourself for a higher position, there are colleges and universities that offer courses free online. You can learn at your own rate in your own environment, free of charge. It’s worth looking into and can be a beneficial way of investing your spare time versus say, watching TV or playing video games. The result can only be something good. Check it out.

http://education-portal.com/articles/Universities_with_the_Best_Free_Online_Courses.html

The Eyes Have it

Here is an interesting view on pupil dilation from body language expert Tonya Reiman http://www.tonyareiman.com/index.htm. Tonya can be seen on The O’Reily Factor on Fox News channel analyzing politicians, celebrities and various news makers. She’s also touted as a very effective motivational speaker.

Personally, I have found this lady to be very accurate in reading body language. Check out her take on “the eyes”

Q: I attended one of your seminars where you spoke about pupil dilation. You can tell me a little more about this fascinating topic.
Tonya -Pupil dilation is the natural response to seeing something you like or something that interests you. The pupils will dilate to let more of what you are looking at in. Pupil dilation is a physiological response to excitement and an excellent tool to use for monitoring arousal, interest, and liking. Interestingly enough, when you look at someone you are attracted to, your pupils will dilate. Subconsciously, the other person will perceive this and assume that you like them – what happens, they become more attracted to you because on a subconscious level they recognize that you are attracted to them and we like people who like us… Confusing?? It shouldn’t be after you read it once or twice. Many years ago, women used a plant extract known as belladonna because it caused pupil dilation and women realized men found this trait more attractive. I will follow this quick answer up with an article over the next few weeks. This subject is simply to irresistible to not delve into.

I never knew this but it’s interesting, makes a nice experiment of sorts don’t you think?

….Now let me just get up on you close enough to see if your eyes are dilating since you say you are my friend……

MSN Careers – 15 Weirdest Work Stories of 2007 – Career Advice Article

This from MSN Careers web pages. Have a weird work story? Share it with us here at TalkingPoints4Now.
I have to admit work can make for some bizzare situations sometimes.
MSN Careers – 15 Weirdest Work Stories of 2007 – Career Advice Article: “15 Weirdest Work Stories of 2007″

You’re Eating From A Lot of Places

Frozen catfish from China, beans from Belgium, jalapenos from Peru, blackberries from Guatemala, baked goods from Canada, India and the Philippines. About 150 countries, from Canada to Cambodia to China, export FDA-regulated goods to the USA. That’s a lot of “chefs” in the kitchen and no one can validate if they consistently turn out safe products. We’re literally getting our food from all over the globe and from countless suppliers.This globalization of American food with loose inspection procedures creates a theater for risk.- I will submit this, take control measures to insure safe imported food, and health care cost in the US will decline dramatically. Now lets throw in pot the fact that the average American eats about 260 pounds of imported foods, including processed, ready-to-eat products and single ingredients. Imports account for about 13 percent of the annual diet. Sooner than later under the existing system somebody is going to get something bad.

Consider this list of Chinese products detained by the FDA in March 2007: frozen catfish tainted with illegal veterinary drugs, fresh ginger polluted with pesticides, melon seeds contaminated with a cancer-causing toxin and filthy dried dates. From – http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/18132087/ Why we are importing catfish from China I’ll never know. Anyway this is the short list real short list

With the latest meat recalls I’ve have found myself skeptical about consumption. I’m not about to convert to a total vegetable diet, but I do wonder if one day it’ll be the only solution to a safe meal. You see the thing about most food recalls is they do nothing if you’ve already consumed the recalled product. Sure it eliminates some percentage of future consumption. But lets be real. There are always those that miss the recall announcements, there are the mom and pop side road cafes that are unaware that they may be serving bad product, and going out on a limb here, there are probably shady, under the health department radar establishments that would rather not know about recalls. Add in the fact, there is no way every pound of contaminated product shipped could be accounted for any way.

Point is, the FDA and USDA has to come up with a better solution to stop tainted food from ever leaving the processing premises. They have to come up with the staff, plans and tools to address this as the import industry is continuing to grow. This results in more food not being inspected increasing the risk of consumption of contaminated food. This should be some politican’s #1 priority. For us, we should keep it on the radar.
That’s the memo. Comments???


Interesting Reads
The Carnivore Project: “A USA Today analysis of USDA recall data has turned up two pieces of surprising news. First, that USA Today does ‘analysis’, and secondly that the majority of recalled meat is never actually returned. For the 73 meat recalls over the past two years, recovery rates have only averaged around 44%. For five recalls, the recovery rate was blow 20%A USA Today analysis of USDA recall data has turned up two pieces of surprising news. First, that USA Today does ‘analysis’, and secondly that the majority of recalled meat is never actually returned. For the 73 meat recalls over the past two years, recovery rates have only averaged around 44%. For five recalls, the recovery rate was blow 20%”

Bandit’s Corner – Self Worth

Wow!
My buddy got flooded with emails regarding the book ” The Bandit Theory” and upcoming excerpts. So much so we decided to go ahead and share excerpt # 1. Enjoy.

Bandit on “Self Worth”

What’s all this standing outside of stores and begging for loose change about? As a matter of a fact just what is loose change? All change is loose. Do these people really think my owner is going to give them all his change? Loose change spare????? change really what is this about?

And you can see the beg coming, these people get real courteous, speaking to my owner like they were high school pals, smiling like they are about to take a photo, petting me on my head and all. Probably don’t even like dogs.

Well, even I know, nothing comes for free, and people work too hard to give their money away to the same person everyday. You’d think the ones with their hands out leaning on the wall would know that.

What they need to know is ,you do what you need to do to legally and respectfully support yourself , it’s as simple as that.

In my case…….
I need food and water, I have to earn it. So I do some tricks, watch the house, provide some companionship, fetch something ( I think the Humane Society might be interested in this beer fetching out of the fridge) but point being, you have to offer some sort of value if you want people to invest in you, even if it’s loose change.

Now if I can figure that out, you would think all humans would…………but some people call me dumb. That’s the memo! Feel free to elaborate.

From Bandit’s Corner

Hi I’m Bandit
Sort of the editor and chief of security here at Talkingpoints4now, as well as the subject of some upcoming topics. My sidekick, caretaker, and all around shotgun buddy is the author of this blog. He is currently working on a book as well as this blog and a full time job (I eat a lot) entitled “The Bandit Theory” life’s lessons and wisdom from the mind of a Rat Terrier (me). I’ve convinced him to share excerpts from the book here from time to time to sort of give our devoted readers a preview. I’ll see if I can get you a discount on the book when it’s published too
So look for my picture in upcoming posts signaling an excerpt from the book.
Well, gotta go, paws getting tired from typing.
See Ya!

Have Good Weekends Instead of a Couple of Days Off

For those of the working population fortunate enough to have the traditional weekend days off after five days of work, kids, commutes, bills, and depressing TV news, you should take a different approach to the two days that bring closure to the week gone by.

I feel safe in saying a large number of the worldly population has sort of fallen into the routine of letting the weekends come and go for the most part. Yes, it’s a geared down transition from the preceding week for most and we get a chance to maybe catch a few breaths and spend a little more time with family and friends. But are we really making the most of this time?

If the mindset is “it’s a couple of days off” you’re probably not getting the best return on these two days because you investment is minimum. Here is what I propose………….

• Plan an unusual activity for say, Saturday, something you wouldn’t normally do, something different. Step away from the norm for a change. Early morning Bread & Breakfast with the significant other, take the kids on a mid day tour someplace interesting, or treat yourself to a spa pampering, or helicopter (yes) ride. Have coffee at a quaint out of the way small subtly lit coffee shop with just coffee, newspaper, and a small notebook.
• Get out of the house and away from anything work related ( leave the Blackberry /Treo devices at home). You’ll be amazed at how liberating it feels to be without them for a day. I’ve always said, if someone is managing or running a company or business that cannot survive without contacting them for one day, well it’s not being ran very well.
• Give yourself a break from the home chores. Attempt to get them done if possible during the work week for a change by using clever cleaning schedules, and downward delegation to other members of the household and pets ( yes get the pets in on it, they should at least pick up their toys) I wouldn’t look forward to time off either if in reality I still have to work.
• See a play instead of a movie (you’re going to buy the DVD anyway. And take a cab, let someone else drive you for a change. Watch a live band perform. Go to a college or high school sports activity, it’s amazing the passion people that aren’t getting millions to play put into a game or contest.

Where this is going is start enjoying your time away from work by breaking out your “routine” I’m not advocating abandoning your basic responsibilities and commitments but I am suggesting spicing up your free time with different activities. You’ll advance socially, learn something new, and approach Monday morning with a brand new attitude.